Give Me 10 Minutes and I’ll Show You How to be a Better Coach


Are you a coach? What’s happening in your business right now? As entrepreneurs we don’t get a lot of support for our endeavors, and right now may be no different.

But right now most people are hurting, confused, lost and struggling to find a new footing on this crazy mountain we now find ourselves.

I wrote a post last year about my best tactics and strategies for coaching. These principles and tools have kept me in business through some pretty crazy times, including the Great Recession as well as my own personal struggles.

Right now the world needs you. The world needs sound strategies for getting back up and keeping on keeping on.

So back by (popular?) demand…my principles for heart-centered, ethical coaching…


Have you ever climbed Mount Everest?

Mount Everest is 29,029 feet high.

Its two base camps can be reached at 16,000 feet.

Once at base camp oxygen begins to decrease by 50%.

It can get to -36C.

As of 2006 the success rate of reaching the peak and coming down alive is 29.4%.

As of the Spring 2018 climbing season Nepal amended its climbing regulations so that no individual climbers can go up the mountain without a guide.

You can’t scale the highest peak in the world without a guide.

So why the f**k would you attempt to scale your business without a coach?

You think I’m being cheeky?

20% of new, small businesses fail in their first year. 50% of those businesses fail by their fifth year.

Why would you attempt to succeed in something all by yourself that you’ve never done before?

And yet entrepreneurs start businesses everyday and expect to be successful all by themselves. They expect to get from point A to point B without a roadmap or blueprint.

During the climbing season on Mount Everest people die every day. And typically these are people who have guides! Can you understand why Nepal has changed its regulations?

But there are no such regulations for starting a business. Anyone can do it. And many attempt it. Over half don’t succeed. And many if not most, never reach their point B, the place they set out to reach in their business.

Going up Mount Everest with a guide doesn’t guarantee you’ll live but it increases your chances of survival considerably.

Starting a business without a business coach doesn’t guarantee your success. You’re responsible for flipping the switch. But it does greatly increase the chances of survival and success for your business.

And guess what??? This goes for coaches too!

In 2017 I surveyed approximately 2500 coaches around the world through my network. I wanted to know how many business coaches had gotten coaching in their field of expertise.

21% of the coaches I surveyed said they hadn’t received any coaching in their area of expertise. Fortunately, that means 79% did receive coaching. But that 21% bothers me.

Even guides need guides.

You think becoming more successful means you no longer need guidance, support or course-correction?

In my opinion, the more success you have to lose the more you want to guarantee that success with as many protections as you can find. And that includes avoiding your own blind spots.

I charge upwards of $100,000 for private business coaching. You know how many coaches I work with on my own challenges? Usually 3 at any given time.

So below is a cheat sheet of everything I’ve learned as a coach and from my own coaches about what to do and what not to do if you want to be a great coach.

If you really want to push the needle for your clients; if you really want to raise the bar in your own business and start attracting the premium clients you’ve been wanting, follow this guide.

This is the core of everything I’ve ever learned about coaching and taking people’s businesses to the top of the mountain.

Related Post : The Truth About Business Coaching
Related Post : 5 New Ways to Think About Coaching
Related Post : Don’t Hire A Coach Until You Read This

What’s the Point?

A great coach helps you accomplish three distinct goals:

  • helps you get from point A to point B

    You not only need someone to help you up the mountain, you need someone at your back supporting you to take the risks to get up the mountain. It’s not just about knowing where to go, it’s about having the courage to go there. A great coach will support you as well as push you when you’re afraid to take the next step.

  • creates a duplicatable blueprint

    So you’ve taken all these steps and achieved some success. A great coach will have created a roadmap (blueprint) of your success so you can keep doing what works. That is, until it stops working and you need to recalculate.

  • closes the learning-doing gap

    You’ve learned some new skills with your coach but implementing them is a whole different game. Without a coach you’d take months or years to uncover your blind spots and start using your new skills. With a coach you’ll close that learning-doing gap faster and keep it closed.

These Strategies Help You Have A Greater Impact and Grow Your Business Without Draining Your Precious Energy

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4 Tools Every Great Coach Uses

  1. Identify Strengths – A strength is not just what someone is good at. A strength is something someone is good at that she enjoys doing. A strength is literally an activity that strengthens you while you do it. A strength energizes you.
  2. Identify Weaknesses – By that logic a weakness is an activity that your client isn’t good at and also hates doing. It literally weakens her. If you’re helping your client play a bigger game get rid of the things that drain her ability to thrive.
  3. Identify Obstacles – Identifying where your client is stuck is your biggest game. Many times the obstacles an entrepreneur faces are not outside of their control. They are things they’re not willing to face alone. It’s your job to face those challenges together. That takes skill and patience.
  4. Identify Blind Spots – What is a blind spot? A blind spot is one of 4 areas of knowledge, or the lack thereof, in your client. What does your client know about himself and what does he not know about himself? It’s these areas that take the most amount of work unearthing and the have the biggest payoff in results:
  • What you know you know
  • What you know that you don’t know
  • What you don’t know that you know
  • What don’t know that you don’t know

5 Qualities of Great Coaching

C. Compassionate Communication – Being a good communicator is a prerequisite for coaches. But I have found that being a compassionate communicator leads to better results. Why? Because your empathy will elicit vulnerability in your client. Unless your client is open to your feedback and wisdom they won’t grow.

O. Outrageous Objectivity – Your objectivity is what will allow you to see your client’s blind spots. These blind spots are what create bad habits and dysfunctional patterns. If you aren’t objective you won’t see them either. You’ll both be inside the jar unable to read the label.

A. Absolute Accountability – You must hold your client accountable for all of her actions. Even being late to one appointment with me is a no-no. And when it happens (and it almost always does) I ask them 3 questions:

  • What happened?
  • What should’ve happened?
  • How can you make it right?

This conversation raises awareness and helps break a pattern if one exists. But do this with compassion so the client stays open to the lesson. And remember…

How you do anything is how you do everything.

-T. Harv Eker

C. Concrete Caring – When you’re giving feedback whether it’s praise or a critique, do it with specifics. Don’t be vague, be detailed and particular. After all, it’s your job to be specific. No one is going to trust..

“Hey great job last week!”

But they will trust…

“I’m really proud of the huge risk you took last week calling that premium prospect. You faced you biggest fear! That will have a big payoff!” Be that guy.

H. Heartfelt Honesty – If you can’t be honest with someone you can’t be a coach. Full stop. And you know what’s hard? Being honest. How hard is it to tell someone their actions are undermining their employees’ work and faith in the company?

How hard is it to tell someone their unchecked spending habits are causing their business to fail?

That. Is. Hard.

And it’s one of the main reasons I continue to get coaching. So I can continue to face the hard work I have to do with my own clients. That’s my biggest game as a coach and I play it to win. I never play to lose.

Related Post : The Truth About Business Coaching
Related Post : 5 New Ways to Think About Coaching
Related Post : Don’t Hire A Coach Until You Read This

3 Mistakes to Avoid as a Successful Coach

Result-focused not Action-focused – It’s the client’s job to get excited and take off in the direction you want them to go. It’s your job to stay the course. You cannot get caught up in the excitement of your client and stay objective and root out blind spots. Those two positions are diametrically opposed.

Stay focused on the small actions that lead to success or failure so you can stay on the path you want your client to pursue.

Telling not Asking – Telling your client what to do may lead to success but it won’t create a blueprint to keep duplicating that success. Asking questions and probing your client for the next right action will create a the blueprint your client can follow over and over to keep repeating success.

Solving not Leading – When challenges arise it’s your job to get granular and lead your client through the blind actions that created that challenge or obstacle. You’re not there to solve problems. You’re there to uncover the blind spots that led to those problems so they aren’t duplicated.

The #1 Biggest Mistake Coaches Make

There is one big mistake a coach can make which I alluded to earlier in this post.

Not getting ongoing coaching.

If you’re not a student of the game how can you keep playing the game? Every person playing at an elite level in their industry has some sort of coach, consultant or advisor. They have to in order to stay competitive and relevant.

The best athletes know they have to continually improve and uncover their blind spots to keep winning. So if you’re a coach and you’re not working with a coach learning to play the biggest game of your life, what are you teaching your clients?

Coaching is a zero-sum game against yourself. You can hobble along for a while fooling people, even yourself. But you won’t last 25+ years if you don’t play your biggest and best game.

Coaches are just as susceptible to those small business statistics as everyone else. So don’t be a statistic. Work with a coach, uncover your blind spots and learn to duplicate your success. Get where you want to go.

The Wrap Up

Are you done making people feel good about their bad habits? Use this cheat sheet to start playing a bigger game. For yourself and your clients.

And get a coach and start playing to win. By the way, there are 4 different ways to play your game:

  1. Refusing to Play
  2. Pretending to Play
  3. Playing to Not Lose
  4. Playing to Win

And the only one that counts is #4. Play to Win…always. But that takes a lot of objectivity. And you don’t have that level of objectivity with yourself. You can’t. You’re inside the jar trying to read the label.

The only way you can obliterate your own blind spots and get where you want to go is to get your own coach. Stay teachable, stay coachable and you will stay relevant and start playing a bigger game. You will start earning those elite clients you deserve.

Are you a business or personal coach? Would you like to teach your clients 3 secrets to increase their productivity and look like a rockstar?

Get this productivity cheat sheet and teach your clients real strategies that will take their business to the next level.

Are you a coach who gets coaching?

How has it improved your game?

Are you getting the premium clients you need to grow your business?

Join the Conversation >>

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